Waiting ... Sun man Marc sits while his clothes get soaping

Waiting ... Sun man Marc sits while his clothes get soaping

They were once the social hub of every community and the place to get the gossip. But numbers in the UK have plummeted from 12,500 in the mid-1980s to just 3,000 today. Laundrette's first became 'steamy' in 1985 when an advert for Levi's 501 range turned model Nick Kamen into a sex god. And US sitcom Friends even screened an episode in a laundrette. Harvey Ferguson, 39, who owns The Majestic laundrette in Glasgow, said: "I'm open-minded. I think people looking for love should come down and do their washing. There are always guys coming in to chat up the girls who work here. We're even thinking of holding singles nights." MARC DEANIE headed to Harvey's to see how he'd fare in the laundry love stakes... with a little help from Nick Kamen. 

DATING over the dirty washing... I thought I'd heard it all. But I headed down to my local Majestic launderette on Glasgow's Argyle Street to see what was on offer. I decided to improve my chances with the opposite sex and try the Nick Kamen approach by recreating his legendary ad for Levi 501 jeans. But stripping down to my crisp white boxers and fluffy socks didn't leave me feeling like a sex god. Trousers don't come harder to fill than Kamen's, I can assure you. The hunk whipped women into a frenzy across the world in 1985 when he stripped off. But I'm more puny than powerhouse - I'd be chuffed if I could get a whistle from a granny. As a stream of blokes walk in with their bags of sweaty shorts in tow - at this point I'd settle for ANY female. 

Treat ... customer takes a sneak peek

Lean machine ... Marc watches the wash

Managing director Ian Kilpatrick, from Glasgow, wasn't convinced when he walked in on my impromptu striptease. The 35-year-old was bringing two weeks' worth of washing in when he caught me ripping my black T-shirt off. Ian, who'd just returned from holidaying in Barbados, joked: "I'm not used to meeting people like this. Usually they've got some clothes on. I admire your bravery." Moments later, I was scaring American tourist Martin Rometsch. The Ford engineer from Detroit, Michigan, was visiting Scotland for a conference at the SECC. Martin, 46, said: "Maybe if it was a female model I would have a different view on things."

And Martin was quick to dismiss the idea of laundrette dating. He said: "I'd rather they just put a few beers in a fridge for people who are waiting. I'm happily married anyway." 

Finally, the drought was over when pretty letting agent Dale Bannatyne popped in. The 33-year-old avoided giving me a Dragons' Den-style grilling. She said: "My washing machine broke earlier and I was in a bad mood, but you've made my day now." Blonde babe Katie Eagles was next in, quickly followed by pals Rosanna Innes and Heather McDonald. Ethel Skinner, Pauline Fowler and Dot Cotton they were not. Things were definitely looking up...I quickly ripped off my T-shirt again and the trousers followed - which seemed to impress the three launderette lovelies. Katie, 31, was clearly impressed. The account director, from Glasgow, quipped: "Are you just back from holiday? You've got a nice tan." Fife-born bar worker Rosanna, 22, added: "You actually look a bit like the guy from the Levi's advert. No joke." 

Result. This is a breeze. But seconds later, I was brought crashing back to earth. And I wasn't smacked by a washing machine door like dinosaur geek Ross Geller was in hit US show Friends. It was worse.  Heather, 19, mocked my model credentials. The waitress, from Glasgow, said: "Your face is fine but you're just really skinny. You could be doing with a fish supper." Talk about a clothesline. I'd been well and truly hung out to dry.